Blue-footed boobies are a clumsy group of birds that take pride in their feet, which the males flap around during a mating dance in hopes of attracting a lady- and the bluer the better. If they aren’t blue enough, ACCESS DENIED. Source
C. S. Lewis (via jennnyfromtheblog)
"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH GREECE AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"
"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"
"oh rad bring it in"
if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic
"Who’s flat now?"
whos flat now
Turkish Proverb (via catic)
Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (via ohhhkat)
The Wolf goes up to the counter and orders two lattes to go, six muffins, four croissants, four scones, and a bagel. The barista says, “You have a huge appetite!” The wolf, donning a bonnet and a nightgown, replies, “Big enough to eat you with, my dear.”
do u ever have a thought that’s so fuckin inappropriate that u feel like dumping a bucket of water on urself like. calm down, self. tone it down. think about jesus